tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54429065744570119312024-03-13T13:13:48.091-05:00Lu Through the Looking Glassjoin me as i explore my new relationship,our love of each other and a nice firm spanking! we are just starting our spanking experience together. you are all welcome to follow along.LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-19652837699921164572010-01-11T18:01:00.004-06:002010-01-11T18:42:46.583-06:00disappointment<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/S0vEZgmVgMI/AAAAAAAAAFg/0eNo9XGXUyg/s1600-h/heart.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 148px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 136px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5425646118624395458" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/S0vEZgmVgMI/AAAAAAAAAFg/0eNo9XGXUyg/s200/heart.jpg" /></a><br /><div>so, Ru was supposed to come and see me this week, fly in today actually and this morning i found out he was not coming. i have been distraught all day. i feel like we have not had any true quality time together in a long while. i feel....disconnected. this was going to be my chance to reconnect. lots of things have been happening with me in RL......i feel like my head has been spinning for a long time and it is just now stopping.....when i really need him to be here with me to help me regain my focus he cannot be here. it is not his fault that he could not come and had to cancel at the last minute. life and death.......they do take their toll on us don't they? though i know it is not his fault and there is nothing he could have ever done to prevent the death that keeps him from me, i am still very angry .......... so very angry. i have not been this angry in a very long time. i am not an angry person really, but i use anger to decrease the hurt....the pain.... it is easier than feeling sad and lonely; but i feel more than my fair share of that right now as well. although i know i am more angry at the situation than at him, but......... </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>you see, it is his birthday. i love birthday's and who does not want to celebrate the birth of the person they love more than any other? well, i know some people, but we wont talk abt that. it is his first birthday for us as a couple. it meant a lot to me that he would be here..... at my place, in my surroundings, where i can drop my guard more than any other place we are together....... and i feel i have been very guarded lately due to these RL issues. i had such great plans for us. i have lots of firewood, i left him notes all over, i made him a cake and decorated it.....all by my self! yes, that is kind of frightening....but it was fun and i enjoyed it b/c i knew he would. i had beans soaking overnight for a great meal tonight.....AND i picked out a nice little school girl outfit, complete with newly "acquired" old school wooden ruler (i did not steal it from work, LOL) and laid it out on the bed. i was going to email him with a scenario at some point during the day, or write it out and come home at lunch and leave it on the desk for him....about what i had done that was so very naughty and deserved such a great spanking....well ......i found out very early this morning he was not coming. i was devastated. no kidding... i see myself as a strong woman, as most of my friends do, so it actually bothers me that i got so upset and angry abt it...... am still so upset and angry abt it. i keep trying to figure it out. why on earth would i feel anger toward the person i love more than anything for some thing he absolutely could not control? i have even said a couple of really horrible things......of course i apologized right away and i did tell him this morning that i was afraid i would do just that. but if he had any idea what i did not say........i think he would understand. on the contrary, i should respect him for going to be with his family, they really need him now, instead of blowing them off to be with me. i mean, he ate the air fare for his ticket......... it is an honorable thing he did..............but i hate it. i do. i hate it. Am i really so selfish? yes. yes i am....when it comes to ru, you bet your ass i am. i have never never never been like this ever in my life, esp not over a man. it scares me. i will admit. what have i gotten my self into? there is no escape. i have always been in control of my own life; not that i have made the best decisions all the time..... but, i do not feel so in control any more. i am not sure if i like that or not.......esp since we have .... complications yet to conquer. but i miss him. every minute of every day that we are not together. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>ru, i am so sorry if i said anything that hurt you. i tried hard not to let my emotions get the best of me.........that is why i get quiet when i am upset........better not to say anything than say something i would regret. i love u so much. i know u feel i have been distant lately, but it is......you know....... and if it all works out, we will be closer. i really wanted you to be here. i wanted to share this with you. you made my birthday so special. i wanted to make yours the same. full of great memories. this was my turn to create them for you as you have created so many for me. i am sorry i have acted like such a brat today. i love you. more that you know. </div>LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-64418791766638941602009-12-22T09:00:00.007-06:002009-12-22T13:01:35.689-06:00Perversions<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SzAgt6lRpgI/AAAAAAAAAFY/3LLYu4asH5A/s1600-h/surreal+spanking.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 165px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 128px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5417866324918511106" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SzAgt6lRpgI/AAAAAAAAAFY/3LLYu4asH5A/s200/surreal+spanking.jpg" /></a><br /><div>The dark perversions of the soul<br />Can be satiated but not controlled<br />They will wake and will invade<br />The pleading truce that you have made<br />They will creep in when no one's near<br />You'll feel their touch and whispers hear<br />And you will try to stand moral ground<br />But you'll give in, no solace found<br />Do not feel bad; do not confess<br />On dirty secrets we all obsess<br />So find a mate with whom to play<br />Whose perversions match so they will stay<br />At least with this you'll know you tried<br />So then you can be satisfied<br />You have a fetish and are perverse<br />Live it up don't feel the curse<br />Dirty little secrets we all keep<br />Enjoy them, live them, don't bury them deep<br />Fetish is out there, it's everywhere<br />So be proud of yours; be one who cares<br />Come out of the closet, so to speak<br />Enjoy your sex. Be a freak.</div><div> </div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div><span style="color:#993399;">**i wish i could give credit to the artist of the above picture, but i do not know who it is. I truely love this pic and i wish i did know.</span> </div>LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-45855889897223964282009-12-20T11:48:00.009-06:002009-12-20T13:23:41.359-06:00Back!Sorry i have been away for so long. Life gets messy sometimes and you just have to deal with it. RL has been....hectic.....to say the least, but i think (i hope anyway) that things are slowing down now and i can get back to what i want to do. <img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5417394986526530418" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/Sy50CaPlW3I/AAAAAAAAAEo/xb1Y71AAJBI/s200/Pictures+2009+011.jpg" /> <div><div><div><div><div><div>So, with that said i suppose i will update everyone..... Ru and i are still going strong. it has been very lonely with out him here and since it is the holidays we have not seen each other as much as we would like. It has been hard on both of us, but we have promised not to let that happen again. it is simply to difficult to not share important moments in life with the people that you love, and there is no one on the planet i love more than my Ru. He did come and visit me a couple of weeks ago and we celebrated our Christmas together and also our anniversary. it was all wonderful. we opened our little presents from each other and we had breakfast...pancakes, eggs and bacon and drank mimosa's and we snuggled on the couch and we did not get out of our pj's all day. we just talked and played and held each other. it was GREAT! the next night i came home from work and walked in the door.....and there were rose petals all over the floor with notes....and instructions. i, of course, was immediately laughing......but i followed the trail and did as instructed....go here, but down your things - which, you must understand....Ru never does not meet me at the door when i come home - go here and pick up your drink...have a sip, stop here and remove your clothing....except my good girl undies...(yes, i was due a good girl spanking and had the undies for the occasion; they say "i've been good..." on the back sid<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/Sy52aY2U-MI/AAAAAAAAAE4/tuSTC_g2nrg/s1600-h/Pictures+2009+036.jpg"></a>e).....go here and so forth..... following the rose petals all the way. it was great fun and<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/Sy53vv6HSwI/AAAAAAAAAFA/6A6auYpn4Jw/s1600-h/Pictures+2009+036.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 67px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 95px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5417399063971056386" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/Sy53vv6HSwI/AAAAAAAAAFA/6A6auYpn4Jw/s200/Pictures+2009+036.jpg" /></a> a wonderful spanking i MUST say ...... and yes, i was VERY over due. so when i finally get to open the bedroom door, i walk in and there are the pillows placed so nicely on the bed, with candles lit and ALL of our implements on the bed.....one's i was not even aware of....like cooking utensils...lol!!! So, i knew i was in for it, my heart was racing, i was a little scared, but sooo ready! it gets hard with him being away. i crave the feel of him....... but this one was filled with lots of giggling right along with the owie's. i loved it. it was a very long one..... pretty intense, but all the giggling and drinking we were doing made it very fun. my bottom was actually a bit sore the next day and i think that might be the first time i have really been sore. There was lots of licking of various body parts on both of our sides..... then when he was finally done, with the wooden spoons, the leather paddle, the the yard stick, the pain stir, the new acrylic paddles i bought him for Christmas (that facial expression was priceless! got it on film), and the hairbrush, we had the most wonderfully intense sex that was soooo soooo, satisfyingly wonderful.....then we got dressed and went out to this really nice Italian restaurant. it was divine. i drank to much....i have a tendency to do that with Ru...haha...then we came home and lit a fire and somehow<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/Sy54L0vONuI/AAAAAAAAAFI/xU7l2Vr01Mk/s1600-h/Pictures+2009.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 169px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 120px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5417399546303887074" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/Sy54L0vONuI/AAAAAAAAAFI/xU7l2Vr01Mk/s200/Pictures+2009.jpg" /></a> i ended up bent over a chair in front of it!? Now how does that happen? it was great fun. Ru and i always seem to have a great time together. </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>i did get one other spanking before he left. this one was a bit different......a first for us i suppose. i always get very upset when he leaves. i even get mad at him sometimes after he leaves. and i get depressed and i act like a brat. i don't mean to, it is just that as my love for him grows, it gets hard to let him go each time. i know it will not be forever, but that does not matter in the middle of it. i feel so complete when he is here sharing my life. then he leaves and everything looses it's color, so to speak. Well, we have talked abt it before.....the preemptive spanking.....but neither of us were sure it was a good idea. but after the last visit i got so down that i, well i think we both decided on our own, that it was worth a try. we discussed it briefly but he did not really say if he was going to do it or not.....well he did AND i was taken a bit by surprise, which was not a bad thing. it was short, but very intense. he spanked me until i promised to behave the following day (translation - not to torture him) and said i know that he loved me. i think i gave in a bit to early. it did have an impact on me i think. i think maybe it should have been a bit more, but i was impressed that he tried it out at all to be honest. i do believe it helped in having the desired affect. not that it completely stopped me from being a ninny, but it helped. thanks baby. i know it was hard for you. </div><br /><div>so, i will try to be better with my blogging as well. i cannot promise anything mind you..... but i will try! </div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/Sy55JFuX-OI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/J4xKZ1X5kDI/s1600-h/xmas+tree.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 87px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 105px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5417400598835755234" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/Sy55JFuX-OI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/J4xKZ1X5kDI/s200/xmas+tree.jpg" /></a><br /><div><span style="color:#cc0000;">so, Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa or happy whatever you are celebrating this time of year. May you all have happy spankings by the fire on a cold winters night. </span></div><div><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div><br /><div>Lu</div></div></div></div></div></div>LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-45721319933889354722009-11-04T21:36:00.006-06:002009-11-04T22:18:38.788-06:00Faith in Love?<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SvJROgbhJ9I/AAAAAAAAAEg/h1JBK8b9yME/s1600-h/love_(L).jpeg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5400468212836018130" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 164px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SvJROgbhJ9I/AAAAAAAAAEg/h1JBK8b9yME/s200/love_(L).jpeg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SvJQ9smZlbI/AAAAAAAAAEY/2Dh6_7_54-w/s1600-h/love_(L).jpeg"></a><br /><br /><div>life is messy. it is confusing. how do we know if we are making the right decision or the biggest mistake of our life? we do not. we must take it on faith that we know ourselves and those we love well enough to do the right things and make the right decisions. Someone told me today that i lack faith...... i do not lack faith, but i do not think any of us can have blind faith forever...... burn me enough times and my faith in you will waiver and eventually fail. i am human after all. also, why would anyone want to purposely hurt another person? AND after that expect them to continue to have blind faith in them..........REALLY????? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? </div><br /><div>well i do have faith in those that have faith in me. in those that are deserving of faith. i am loyal. i am true. i am deep. i am sharing. i am giving. i am honest. with those that will let me be these things, anyway. it is amazing how many people will not let you be these things to them. this is why i have such a connection with RU. he loves these things abt me. he draws them out in me and i cannot help but be me to the core of me when i am with him. there is no better gift a partner can give than to accept you the way you are; to love you just as you are and not want you to change. i love him most of all for this gift. it is the most important thing he could ever give to me. </div><br /><div>back to faith..........i am not a religious person, but i try hard to have faith in mankind. it is hard. we are stupid and are easily swayed. we are often rude and uncaring, but in each of us i believe lies the potential to be a good person. i cannot help that i believe this. i am glad i hold on to it. i have been through some very hard times and harder relationships in my life and i have seen many women that are bitter and jaded from less than i have been through. i do not want to be like that. i am a lover! i want to love and to be loved. i want to spoil someone who appreciates it. i want to be spoiled by someone who does it just to see me smile. i say now i will never give up on love........who knows what time will bring though or how time will change me. i cannot imagine giving up and not having someone to love or to love me. i have so much love in my heart, so how can i not have faith in love? </div><br /><br /><div>pic from <a href="http://www.naomisstudio.com/ecclectic_expressionism_emotions/emotions_love.htm">naomisstudio.com</a></div></div>LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-81825935364324909002009-10-29T10:00:00.001-05:002009-10-29T10:00:00.987-05:00Morning imaginings<span style="color:#009900;"><strong>As I lay in bed<br />The sheets<br />They weigh me down<br />As they press upon<br />My rear<br />So very small and round<br />For I know what<br />Awaits me<br />Later on this day<br />When I see him they’ll be<br />No waiting<br />Across his lap I’ll lay<br />He will lift my skirt<br />Give me rules<br />I’ll take an innocent guise<br />He’ll lower my panties<br />And gaze out<br />Upon his naked prize<br />There he will see<br />Anticipation<br />In the goose bumps on my ass<br />Then he will make it<br />Very clear<br />I should not have been bad in class<br />“Hands out front<br />Eyes forward<br />Be still, you have earned this”<br />Then he will lean down<br />And whisper<br />“I love you” with a kiss<br />The falls will come<br />One by one<br />In a steady cadence<br />He will continue<br />Harder faster<br />Until I’ve paid my penance<br />He will use his hand<br />To warm me<br />And ready me for the rest<br />Then he will take out<br />The paddle<br />Because I love it best<br />After that I<br />Will stand<br />As he strips me bare<br />Then over the bed<br />I will go<br />With my bottom in the air<br />He will finish<br />Ruler in hand<br />My bottom sore and red<br />Then he will rub it<br />Caress it<br />As he pulls me into bed<br />With our senses<br />Highly roused<br />We will begin to explore<br />As we take each other<br />With sweet release<br />Like nothing ever before<br />We lay there spent<br />And satisfied<br />As we nuzzle into each other<br />We lay there and giggle<br />And reminisce<br />As we are so in love with our lover</strong></span>LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-52542030340998454152009-10-26T20:47:00.009-05:002009-10-26T21:43:42.092-05:00Spanking please?<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SuZbI5v3OPI/AAAAAAAAAEA/A_bGzOpja6Y/s1600-h/spanked.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 145px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 85px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5397101411948771570" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SuZbI5v3OPI/AAAAAAAAAEA/A_bGzOpja6Y/s400/spanked.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div><br /><br /><div><br /><br /><div>So, i have not had a good spanking in a while. Ru was here last week but it was too chaotic and we ended up out late for business almost every night which put a huge damper on our play time; and to top it all off i was not feeling well the last day. *sigh* i hate it when life gets in the way of my play! don't get me wrong; it was wonderful having RU here and spending time together.......there is nothing better. but, i think i am in bad need of a spanking.......yes.....yes i am. i even sent my loving Ru some nice pics of me in his favorite extremely short skirt.....bending over various things in my house.......oh yeah, i am bad......and i am sure i am in for it......i pretty much made sure of that.....like that pic i chose above RU? like those socks? <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">LOL</span>! i am very excited to see him again. this back and forth gets a little old every now and then...ok...all the time, but he is worth it. i, however, need to feel his ......control is such a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Strong</span> word, but is what comes to mind.......over me. his assertive hands on me. i have been making way too many decisions at work lately and would love for him to make some for me for a change. you know, i have been thinking a lot lately about why i like it.....spanking...... being spanked. Ru and i even talk about it sometimes. We both agree that one reason, and there are many, but one of the more driving reasons for me is that it takes me completely away from everything. it clears my head....there is nothing else but that moment in time.....Ru and me and my bare bottom being lit up under his firm stroke........ it is the one time i don't think of anything else......there is no work, no worry, no yesterday, no tomorrow......only that moment. i have a very cluttered brain that is very overactive. i have problems shutting it off.....<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">LOL</span>. there are many more reasons i like it. i did not know that the act of being spanked would take me away from the world so completely when i was daydreaming about it all the time, but it is <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">definitely</span> a benefit. i do like the sting too......haha....don't tell RU. i like the complete submission of it (not sure how else to describe) even though i have trouble reaching that place. it has only happened once; the complete ......giving in.... but even so i like putting myself in his hands; the act of submitting.....putting my trust in him.....letting him take me to some other place. i make it sound so <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">serious and</span> some times it is <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">serious</span> and some times it is fun and we giggle and i squirm.......there are just so many sides to it for me and i love letting him take me where ever he thinks i need to go. i love him even more for it; for letting me put that much trust in one person and not being wrong to do so. Anyway....enough of my sap!</div><br /><div></div><div>i cannot express my excitement to see him tomorrow. My Ru, he is a planner, and i just love that he takes the time to make plans for me....for us. i don't really like planning too much..... BUT when i do make a plan at least you know it is important....to me at least. so, sorry i have not had a good spanking story in a while, but i hope to have one for you all soon. i will be away for a few days so i am not sure when i will be able to make a new post. </div><div></div><br /><div>i hope you all have a very <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">spankable</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Halloween</span>!!!! i will certainly try t<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SuZbu4Lp7XI/AAAAAAAAAEI/PCBAzSwUJ34/s1600-h/stool+pumpkin.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 97px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 124px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5397102064363498866" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SuZbu4Lp7XI/AAAAAAAAAEI/PCBAzSwUJ34/s400/stool+pumpkin.jpg" /></a>o make the best of my few short days with RU.</div><br /><div>HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! IT IS OUR DAY AFTER ALL!</div></div></div>LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-49229579399972161562009-10-23T21:12:00.007-05:002009-10-23T21:49:58.060-05:00The Noise of Missing<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SuJnUi9qbaI/AAAAAAAAADQ/X8s5BQuf9l8/s1600-h/meditation.jpeg"></a>this is not my norm in writing, but i really like this one for some reason. it really describes the way i feel at the moment and since i was updating my journal i thought i would share with you all. I hope you like it.<br /><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-family:courier new;color:#993399;">THE NOISE OF MISSING</span></strong><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;color:#993399;"><strong>In silence I sit <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SuJqaYsuPKI/AAAAAAAAADg/IWvlMTbVAAA/s1600-h/emo+girl+alone.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5395992305082449058" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 81px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 119px" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SuJqaYsuPKI/AAAAAAAAADg/IWvlMTbVAAA/s320/emo+girl+alone.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />As the world moves around me <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SuJqN3UEmAI/AAAAAAAAADY/Eaj4_rxGByE/s1600-h/emo+girl+alone.jpg"></a><br />In a hazy miasma<br />I seem to move in sluggish circles<br />While every thing else<br />Rapidly passes me<br />So much I am missing<br />By not sharing<br />So many experiences<br />Not lived out loud<br />Because someone is missing<br /></strong></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;color:#993399;"><strong>I move in silence<br />As I wait to catch up<br />With the kaleidoscopic world<br />That twirls around me<br />To see my surroundings<br />In their full brilliance<br />As I wait for the moments<br />That will take my breath away<br />And in those<br />Reach the zenith of my days<br />So much input undelivered<br />So many actions<br />Not lived out loud</strong></span><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Courier New;color:#993399;">Because someone is missing</span></strong>LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-56013150426097651722009-10-16T19:03:00.005-05:002009-10-16T19:43:24.883-05:00October<div><div><br /><div><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/StkS9dZmmUI/AAAAAAAAADI/ny5Zc5Hr01k/s1600-h/bat.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 150px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 120px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393362875826215234" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/StkS9dZmmUI/AAAAAAAAADI/ny5Zc5Hr01k/s320/bat.jpg" /></a><br /><div>So, October is generally my favorite month. It starts to cool off, fall is all around and of course, there is Halloween......one of my favorite holidays!! I just love Halloween. it is so much fun. it was always a big deal at my house when i was little. There were always parties and festivities and decorations and candy...... and laughter. this year is a bit different for me. i feel like my life is in a bit of disarray so i cannot decorate or celebrate the way i would truly like. At least, though, i want to celebrate. that is a big change from the last few Halloween's that have passed. i will be visiting some friends for the occasion and hope to have a good time, but as i will be out of town, dressing up will not be on the list of festivities...... that may not be a bad thing for me LOL. i would dearly love to spend the day with my Ru, but i cannot so i will try not get down about it...... there is always next year. </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>BUT, wouldn't it be fun to put on your sexiest little witch costume and get a wonderful spanking for all the toil and trouble you will be stirring up later that night?! OH Yeah! i would love to add that to my favorite fun holiday festivities.....*sigh*.......next year.<br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/StkSRJezU9I/AAAAAAAAAC4/27FmmgsMG0M/s1600-h/imagesCAJXBRQN.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 97px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 133px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393362114565067730" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/StkSRJezU9I/AAAAAAAAAC4/27FmmgsMG0M/s320/imagesCAJXBRQN.jpg" /></a><br />anyway, i just wanted to share my enthusiasm for this time of year. I love the scary movies and the haunted houses and all the freaks that like to partake. I mean, there is a little freak in all of us, and a lot in most of you reading this (and the person writing it). so i say get your freak on this month!!!! there is no better time to do it! grab your bottom, light a fire in the hearth, then light a fire on her/his behind! yeeehaww! </div></div></div></div>LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-44978560113223743852009-10-12T23:20:00.005-05:002009-10-13T18:33:35.580-05:00Love our Lurkers<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/StQJNQ7q3zI/AAAAAAAAACo/bFnwbgcLdhQ/s1600-h/typewriter.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 83px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 103px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391944777357516594" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/StQJNQ7q3zI/AAAAAAAAACo/bFnwbgcLdhQ/s320/typewriter.jpg" /></a><br /><div>Today is the 4th annual Love our Lurkers day! i am not sure how many people actually read the content here, i hope at least a few. i hope that someone reading is getting a little bit out of what Ru and i post. we decided to share our experiences with all of you......whoever would read.....whoever needed to know what this journey was like or could be like. i did not have any expectations that i would grow a famous blog or anything when i started this....... but now i am challenging all of you out there, the silent readers, to speak up and type at us! i am calling out all who visit here to leave a comment and let us know, at least, that we are not alone. <span style="color:#009900;">if your a spanko and you know it leave a comment *clap* *clap*!</span> let us know if there is something we could do, questions we could answer that would help you, or other things you would like to know or just type us a hello. i think Ru and i would be up for sharing anything we could. </div><div></div><br /><div>i would never say i do not bite, because i have been known to, but i will respect your inquiries should you have any and be happy to answer or pass along any info or knowledge i may have on the subject. SO, please let us know that you are out there on this fine LOL day! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>isn't it time you made your voice heard in the spanko community? i mean, we are freaks in our own right and, personnally, i would not change that about myself for anything in the world. my life would not be half as much fun as it is were i not the freak i was born to be. :)</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>COME ON... TYPE AT US! LET US KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE!!!</div><div> </div><div>Thanks to Bonnie at <a href="http://bottomsmarts.blogspot.com/">My Bottom Smarts </a>for organising!!!</div>LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-5372202103739565872009-10-09T16:05:00.005-05:002009-10-09T19:26:02.655-05:00All About Moments<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6bca_sk_cF4/Ss-mElAZUzI/AAAAAAAAACI/X3q8kTJBUPU/s1600-h/LU.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 154px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5390709876569232178" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6bca_sk_cF4/Ss-mElAZUzI/AAAAAAAAACI/X3q8kTJBUPU/s320/LU.jpg" /></a><br /><div>Well I am very overdue in updating you fine folks. I have just been so busy. I seriously don’t know how so many bloggers can stay current. But I need to chip in and share, so here we go.<br /><br />I see my darling LU has provided you with an update on our recent adventures. She does such a wonderful job. By now I am sure you guys must agree that I am truly blessed to have her in my life. I don’t know what she sees in me. Let me tell you about my darling LU. By the way, that is a remarkable cartoon likeness in the picture above. First you should know that if you ever pass her on the street and speak, you would recognize her at once I think. I was reading her update below and it is just so…..LU. She is beautiful inside and out. Completely! And her angel eyes… they captivate you…. She looks through you …. You feel completely transparent, and unable to hide anything from her .... not that you want to. You simply can not resist her gravity. And for our <span style="color:#ff0000;">spanko</span> friends out there, I would be remiss if I did not tell you about what a very fine athletic bottom we are working with here. I mean even the women in the house would have to say … <span style="color:#3333ff;">Damn</span>! Oh and she got this ultra short pleated tennis skirt the other day and I simply can’t tell you what it does to me…….. <em>***daydream***</em> …… Sorry I checked out for a minute there…….<br /><br />I find it interesting that she originally started this blog as a way to share the things she wanted talk about or were bottled up, in part because we are remote and I am not physically there most of the time to be the companion she deserves. She did not really intend for it to be a blog about spanking. But to our surprise, we have discovered a whole world out there of people like us and the blog has been quite therapeutic at times. So with that, I would like to share with you one of my favorite moments of last week (excluding the porch and OTK time that LU has already shared with you). As you know, it IS …. all about moments with me.<br /><br />So we do not get many full weekends together, but I do love to wake up with her curled in my arms … naked of course. I do love that about her. Our closeness always intensifies and develops into full blown intimacy ……. A great way to start you day I must say. After an appropriate cool down and cuddle time, I like to slip away and make the coffee. I like to bring her breakfast in bed so to speak. On this day it consisted of powdered donuts (oh I can cook…..never fear) and coffee (with whip cream of course). I do this on purpose because the powder gets everywhere when you eat them and I get to <span style="color:#000000;">lick</span> all the parts that get sugar on them…… oh and she can be a messy eater when rewards are involved! Yummy!<br /><br />We then curl up together, still naked and clean of sugar, and have our coffee and chat. We also have started two “traditions” I guess one could say. Neither of us have ever been gamblers. But we have purchased a lottery ticket every time we have a weekend together. LU and I have both kind of been without dreams for a while until we became a couple. Once you obtain your dreams, or situations make them no longer relevant, you must replace them. Life without dreams is a sad thing. Our dream is to run away together to <span style="color:#000000;">Bora Bora</span>! So we kiss, and pull up the internet and check our tickets. Oh we will never win, that is not the point. The point is to have a dream together and to work for it as a team.<br /><br />We also check our blog (HI guys!) and then spend a little time at the Sunday Brunch with our good friends at <span style="color:#ff6600;">My Bottom Smarts</span>. It is fun.<br /><br />Anyway, nothing beats the moments we have together when you have shared interest. I hope you have enjoyed my update. I have more to share but must get back to the grind! Until next time….. </div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-11847820875110306842009-10-08T18:14:00.004-05:002009-10-09T19:17:29.851-05:00OTK Spanking<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/Ss57ZlANMjI/AAAAAAAAACg/cIu82W2MN_U/s1600-h/otk+2.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 125px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 146px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5390381483368985138" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/Ss57ZlANMjI/AAAAAAAAACg/cIu82W2MN_U/s320/otk+2.jpg" /></a><br /><div>so, as i said i am going to tell you all <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">abt</span></span> my very first <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">OTK</span></span> spanking. it is something i have been wanting to try for a long time. i never really thought <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">abt</span></span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">OTK</span></span> until i started reading up on spanking. my ideas and images were always a bit different (no i will not elaborate, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">LOL</span></span>). but as i read more and watch more it has been one thing that has intrigued me. many bottoms say they don't like it b/c it is uncomfortable. i can see that; but i am small and Ru is tall and i figured i would fit just <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">abt</span></span> perfect across is legs where i would not have to put my hands down for balance.......and i was right. HA! i love it when a plan comes together! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>so i had been hinting at Ru that he should put me over his knee, but being far away from each other, when we are finally together it is hard to remember exactly what i wanted a week prior. this time, i had already gotten the spanking of my life the day before so i was able to think pretty clear....amazing how that happens. so after a WONDERFUL day, that included the moment below, we were snuggling on the couch and......as usual started getting all hot and bothered. not sure how we got to the topic of spanking, it seems a natural progression sometimes, but i was pretty worked up and Ru knew it, and he knew what i wanted. He made me ask for it!!! then he made me go get the leather paddle.....i do like that one! then he pulled out a chair of the hard straight backed variety, he sat down and positioned himself and made me bend over....it was fabulous, i must say..... one of my favorite spankings to date. i did fit perfectly over his knees so that i wrapped my arms around his leg and my feet did not need to touch the ground either to balance, although sometimes he pushed them back down to the floor....they have a tendency to fly up into the air....wonder what's up with that *giggle*. so he spanked my bare bottom with his hand and the leather paddle......i think he was going easy on me b/c of the night before, but really it was just perfect for a good girl spanking in my opinion and i had been a very very good girl that day. my bottom turned a very nice shade of red and had just a great sting to it....i like the sting. i loved being able to arch my back and toss my head back or curl my legs under.....i felt like i had mobility, in a weird way, yet was still very <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">controlled</span> and there is <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">definitely</span> more room for control/restraint. i really loved the touching; that i was touching him the whole time after the day we had had together.....it was a great ending. i did giggle a lot too.... i don't know why i do that either, i just cannot help it. when he was done spanking me he put one of those temporary tattoos right at the top of my butt - the thing is still there....it will not come off. the whole thing was great fun and i enjoyed it so very much. Thanks for listening Ru!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>so all of you out there wondering if <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">OTK</span></span> is worth a try, i loved it and hope to find myself there many many more times mowing and giggling at the same time. I swear, next time i am breaking out the short plaid skirt and tall socks.......and maybe some pigtails. i think that would be just about right! </div>LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-61897205467516770432009-10-05T21:13:00.005-05:002009-10-05T22:24:09.765-05:00moments<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/Ssqzt8fGYzI/AAAAAAAAACY/ggVhUyRNNJw/s1600-h/wine"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389317506014274354" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 123px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 107px" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/Ssqzt8fGYzI/AAAAAAAAACY/ggVhUyRNNJw/s200/wine" border="0" /></a><br /><div>i have been very busy lately. i have not had much time to write. work has been.....frustrating to say the least and some other aspects of my personal life are still as infuriating as ever. i did get to spend some time last week with Ru which was nice, but it was.......very busy. Normally we get a night or 2, at least, to just be together but this time was more work than normal and more demands on our time so it was not the best visit. Don't get me wrong, we always enjoy seeing each other and we will take what we can get, but we always want more and it can be frustrating not to have any quality time together...... and no spankable time. the good news is we got to spend the weekend together too. that does not normally happen and it was a great weekend. i have never known someone that could put me at such ease as Ru can....... when i fall into his arms, it is instant relief! *sigh*.... ok, enough babbling abt sappy things, well......maybe not....LOL! i would like to share with anyone that is reading my favorite moment from this weekend and it is on my short list of favorite moments with Ru, i think. Ru has this thing abt moments. it is so sweet and i love it....... "it is all about moments" he says and he is right. well, we are picnic people so we usually try to squeeze one in when we can and on sunday he took me on a picnic at a state park. The grounds were beautiful and right up our alley with lots of oaks strung with moss. we walked around holding hands and talking. then we got our bottle of wine, 7 deadly Zins - good stuff if you like a bold spicy red zen - and we sat in some rocking chairs on the porch of this house looking out at the scenery and drank wine and talked. we talked about our dreams and that was good for me. it has been a long time since i thought about dreams....or since i had any. i feel like all of mine have crashed and burned in recent years, so much so that i have not even dared to consider new ones. i had dreams once upon a time........of saving the world when i was very young.........of a partner and a loving, fulfilling family........of children......of laughter.......of writing....... after growing up and realizing one person cannot change the world, much less save it, after 2 failed marriages and many heart aches in the realm of children and child baring, after realizing a true partner is very hard to find, i eventually stopped writing and with it, stopped dreaming. i don't think i ever even realized it until sunday on that porch. talking about it, realizing i could dream again.......if i dared......was in itself a great gift. i loved that moment.... thank you Ru. you always seem to know what to do. i so love you for that. knowing a true partner is so hard to find and feeling like i have found one in you is enough to help me plant the seed for a new dream. that is one of the best gifts you could ever give me. please know how much i appreciate that. </div><div> </div><div>ok, NOW enough sappy babbling. I will post more tomorrow about my wonderful OTK experience....... my first one ever! but it is late and my time is up for tonight. i am glad i got to make a post at least. Dream well. </div>LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-47635342876478966702009-09-22T21:46:00.007-05:002009-09-22T23:10:50.791-05:00spanking for headspace<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SrmdKDXr41I/AAAAAAAAACQ/OolBqWUp08E/s1600-h/headspace.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 91px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 91px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384507625527042898" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/SrmdKDXr41I/AAAAAAAAACQ/OolBqWUp08E/s200/headspace.jpg" /></a><br /><div>i seem to be back to myself, which is always a good thing. i was just sitting here thinking about getting a good spanking from Ru...... I had these crazy dreams last night, woke up sweating and panting and in quite the excited state. i had several of them involving various scenarios of Ru and his implements and my bare bottom..... and well as other scenes of passionate, heavy sex.... i guess we can all tell what i need....LOL. as i was reminiscing of my dreams and desires, i started thinking about headspace. Last week i was in such a state. i was very down, very lonely. i desperately needed something to take my mind off of the woes of work and my other RL issues.... i knew that, but i was not in the frame of mind to come up with something. So now that i am back to my self, and after my oh so wonderful, yet frustrating, dreams, i wonder if a nice spanking would not have been the perfect thing...... Of course, if Ru and i were not so far away from each other, i do not believe i would have been so down. Grumpy and bitchy, probably.......and my guess is Ru would have found an opportunity to help me work that out were he here. I have read on Bonnie's site, <span style="color:#6633ff;"><a href="http://www.bottomsmarts.blogspot.com/">My Bottom Smarts</a></span>, that sometimes a good spanking is just the thing for frustration. I am here to say i agree with that, although i have never had one just for that reason. i can say that after i usually do feel better, less anxious so i can so see how it would be a great stress reliever. but what about for being down? for me, i get down b/c i feel like everything is crashing in on me at once and i get overwhelmed with life. i am generally a good person and would never intentionally hurt another soul so when ppl do that to me, i have a hard time understanding why; i mean that is just not in my nature. so anyway, that is really how it began. i was down abt Ru not being here and my x decided to pull some schenanigans and then everything just cascaded from there. i realize now it would have been really great to feel that nice submissive feeling i had before.....the one where i felt like i did not have to carry the weight of the world all by myself (<a href="http://lu-throughthelookingglass.blogspot.com/2009/08/visitor.html">visitor</a>). it has really only happened the one time, but i think in that state of mind it would not have been hard to achieve. i think it would have helped me get out of the dark headspace i was in. Of course this is just all speculation. <span style="color:#009900;">Anyone out there experienced this?</span> i would really like to know if you have and if it helped at all to get a good spanking, from someone you love and trust, when you are feeling overwhelmed and maybe a bit down....in a general funk. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>So, as i said, i seam to be back in my normal head space and as randy as ever. i am deffinatley in need of a nice warm bottom.....I do believe Ru agrees as he has been teasing me all day about how much i need one and how he cannot wait to help me out with that. it very wonderful when we are on the same wavelength, in the same headspace, which is most of the time. So i get to see him next week and i am SOOOOOOO excited!! I get to spend the weekend with him too; that was an unexpected bonus.......and i do like a good bonus. see you monday hun!</div><br /><div></div>LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-46232886278588712252009-09-17T21:19:00.003-05:002009-09-17T21:58:51.772-05:00Needit is hard being <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">separated</span>, esp after so much time together. i cannot seem to get back to myself since he left. the chaos of work, and other personal issues in my life do not help. everything seems so much worse than it really is, maybe b/c i feel, in a way, i am facing it alone. i know i am not, that Ru is always there to support me and listen and advise, but it is still hard when i cannot feel his gentle touch, his sweet embrace.....sit in his lap the way i always do. ..... there is just something <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">abt</span> the physical that helps reinforce the idea and feelings of support. it makes me feel weak to think this way, but Ru has awakened a part of me that never existed before. the part that feels the need of others and i can admit that, for the first time ever.....that i need others (esp RU). i have never been a loner per say, but i have always been very comfortable being alone. the closer i get to Ru, the less i enjoy my own company.....don't get me wrong, i can crack my self up, but i would rather us be together and share the jokes, the shows, the tears......what ever it is......to share. It seems these days no matter what i do i feel like something is missing, some one to share with. is it a weakness to feel the need of someone else? this is a new thing for me in my adult life and i think i am having a bit of trouble processing it.......LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-86637397546287777392009-09-13T09:44:00.005-05:002009-09-13T12:17:46.946-05:00our vacation<div>i know it has been a while since i posted anything, but i wanted to post about our vacation. we had a wonderful time, saw a great band and had some quality time enjoying the sun and each other. we ate a lot, we drank a lot, we had a lot of sex and some nice spank time! For me, just being together for that long was the best part. We usually only get 3-4 days at a time which is never enough. it is hard to cram weeks into such a short time period. i will tell you about some highlights, discoveries and my favorite spanking while on vacation.<br /><br /><br /><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#003300;"><strong>Highlights:</strong></span> </div><br /><ul><br /><li><br /><div align="left">Toy shopping - yes, we went toy shopping. Neither of us had ever been in a real "adult" store before. We knew what we were looking for but had to go to 3 or 4 before we found it. We had so much fun looking and giggling though, it was a very nice experience. Of course, if you look back at Ru's posts you will see what was purchased. I wore a nice, very short blue jean skirt for the occasion and, as promised, when we got home from dinner i got well acquainted with Ru's ottoman and our new paddle. :)</div></li><br /><li><br /><div align="left">Picnic - on our last day we had a picnic. the day before we had gone to a local winery and picked up a new wine tote and a wonderful cheese ball mix. well, i made the cheese ball and some other snacks and we packed a bottle of wine and headed out for our picnic. Ru, being the romantic that he is, wanted to go some place very special and new for our picnic, but as time was short we opted for a spot by the water that was very close. it was great fun. just sitting, talking, sharing. it was one of my favorite moments. </div></li></ul><br /><p align="left"><strong><span style="color:#3366ff;">Discoveries:<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/Sq0o_cqK_9I/AAAAAAAAACI/stQzwEfu0oE/s1600-h/bora2.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 178px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 129px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381002200267554770" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7BzW9kmSgWg/Sq0o_cqK_9I/AAAAAAAAACI/stQzwEfu0oE/s200/bora2.jpg" /></a></span></strong></p><br /><ul><br /><li><br /><div align="left">Bora Bora - i discovered that if we won the lottery, i would run away with Ru to Bora Bora. No second guessing, i would do it and leave all of this behind. of all the people i have ever known, i believe he is the only one i could spend all my time with and not be dreadfully bored. it was a nice discovery. </div></li><br /><li><br /><div align="left">implements - let's see, this trip i was familiarized with the new leather paddle - i liked it - the hairbrush - owie, that sucker packs a punch - the yardstick - i liked it too, for some reason it makes me giggle. Not the best reaction when your bottom is sticking up in the air and someone is smacking you with one.......</div></li><br /><li><br /><div align="left">Fear - there is not much i am truly afraid of. i am a strong independent woman. i fend for myself and have always taken care of myself. every time i try and let someone else take care of me, it is a disaster. i do not know why this is. i have discovered in recent days that i am afraid to loose Ru ...... this is unsettling to me in a way but reinforces my feelings for him. we have much in our way before we can truly be together the way we want to be.....time, distance, careers, family....... one cannot see the future thus there is always doubt.</div></li></ul><br /><p align="left"><span style="color:#ff6600;"><strong>Spanking</strong></span></p><br /><p align="left">ok, so the ottoman was nice, erotic, but it was not my favorite while we were on vacation. there was another........</p><br /><p align="left">Some background.....Ru has this thing about wanting to make sure i am "in the mood". i am almost always in the mood, and if i am not it is either b/c i do not feel well, or i am in a bad mood.....if in a bad mood though, that may be just what i need anyway! but i digress.....so, i wanted to surprise him one day....difficult as we are always together there is not much time to set up. So anyway, Ru was taking me out to a club to go dancing and my shoes were in the car....i saw my opportunity to get him out of my way for a few precious moments.....so i got my "out fit" ready (an orange t shirt and some thigh high socks with orange and yellow stripes at the top and orange undies) and then asked him to go get my shoes out of the car. i changed quick fast in a hurry, grabbed the yard stick - yes, its origins were on vacation.....not sure how it ended up in the corner at my apartment...hehehehe.....the paddle and bent myself over the kitchen table so Ru would have a lovely view of my posterior when he walked back through the door. he thought i was up to something, so he was not as surprised as i would have liked, but he was surprised enough, and pleasantly so. i got VERY familiar with the yard stick. also, he did not hold back as much as he usually does, which i enjoyed. at the end, after the yard stick, the paddle, the brush and his hand......when i thought it was over or almost over, he said, can you take 20 more? i said yes. he said, ok, choose your implement and smacked me with each of the forementioned devices. Now, my bottom was pretty hot and sore by this time, so i chose the hand as it packed less of a sting. So, my Ru says ok, hairbrush it is! Thanks babe......it was pretty funny. he only smacked me twice (i think) with the brush and a few times with the yard stick and finished up with his hand ....... and believe me i was keeping count of every lick. then he kissed me and hugged me and lead me to the bedroom where we had amazing sex, i got a good rub, then we got dressed and went dancing. great night. </p><u><span style="color:#cc33cc;"><strong>Something Unexpected</strong></span></u><br /><br />The day after i got home, Ru found out he did not have to go to the office so he came and stayed with me instead. We were together for 2 weeks. it was wonderful. But it was very hard for me on Friday when i knew he had to leave the next day. i was in a very dark mood. it is hard now when we seperate and it get's harder every time; but other than friday night, we had a wonderful 2 weeks together. Ru, thanks for always being there for me and for being such great parnter. I love u.</div>LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-88212443617734324172009-09-11T15:39:00.003-05:002009-09-11T15:54:16.474-05:00Convenient Household Items<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6bca_sk_cF4/Sqq4lnQl9aI/AAAAAAAAACA/orwYbeE84oI/s1600-h/yard+stick.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380315661180728738" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6bca_sk_cF4/Sqq4lnQl9aI/AAAAAAAAACA/orwYbeE84oI/s200/yard+stick.jpg" /></a><br /><div>So LU and I were enjoying each others company and playing around, just flirting with each other, when she proceeds to bend over a stool and tease me that she wanted to be spanked. Well I am just not one to let my woman down, so I quickly look around the room for something interesting to “play with” and in the corner of the room I see a yard stick. Oh my….this must be fate! Well I must say that this new discovery was most enjoyable for us both. What started out as flirting turned in to some quality spank time. Yard stick baby! If you don’t have one….<strong>get one</strong>!<br /><br />The thing that really made me chuckle was what was written on it….some real estate agent advertisement (I think) that said “<span style="color:#ff0000;">Talk to</span> <span style="color:#ff0000;">Lu</span>cy”. A quick drop of the “cy” and I was in business. Anyway, I just thought I would share with you fine folks. This is what LU has in store when she walks in tonight.<br /><br />Have a great weekend……I know ours will start out very well!</div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-36775661768206628202009-09-06T10:40:00.003-05:002009-09-06T10:45:10.249-05:00New Toys<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6bca_sk_cF4/SqPY6RCHc1I/AAAAAAAAAB4/ptpufw2NALo/s1600-h/Tiny+016.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378380875526796114" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6bca_sk_cF4/SqPY6RCHc1I/AAAAAAAAAB4/ptpufw2NALo/s200/Tiny+016.jpg" /></a><br /><div><br /><br /><div>LU and I went toy shopping while on vacation. More to say about this later. Here is one of them... Hope you are having as good of a labor day as LU and I are.</div><br /><br /><div></div></div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-50725503277616164862009-08-29T10:27:00.007-05:002009-09-07T21:32:55.024-05:00Your Nearness<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6bca_sk_cF4/SplKYSeCSvI/AAAAAAAAABo/oBduTdI0cBs/s1600-h/DSC_0136.JPG"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 213px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5375409411378531058" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6bca_sk_cF4/SplKYSeCSvI/AAAAAAAAABo/oBduTdI0cBs/s320/DSC_0136.JPG" /></a><br /><div><span style="color:#000000;"><em>I thought I would share with you one of <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">LU's</span> many poems. So much of her work is very personal to me or to her, so it is hard to choose some times. But I like this one and I hope you do as well.</em></span></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Your nearness invades me</div><div></div><div></div><div>And I succumb to it</div><div>It seeps deep into me</div><div>And calms the depths within me</div><div>Your presence over powers me</div><div>I am no match for you</div><div>As you undo the harshness of the day</div><div>I have no choice but to obey</div><div>Your touch expertly defeats me</div><div>And I willingly surrender to it</div><div>It melts the resistance within</div><div>So I can see the beauty in the world again</div><div>You.....end the war inside me</div><div>Stop the static in my head</div><div>And take me to a tranquil place</div><div>Every time I feel your sweet embrace</div><div></div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-45418278331308949192009-08-28T17:04:00.003-05:002009-08-28T17:30:10.918-05:00excited!so, it has been a ruff week in the business world and i, for one, am glad it is over. Also, it is one day closer to me getting to see my RU. i am <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">sooooo</span> excited! i cannot wipe this silly smile off my face for anything! i think i have enough planned to keep me busy for the weekend, washing, cleaning, packing for tomorrow and then working out and visiting some friends on <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Sunday</span>. Still, i am sure everyday will be <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">agonizingly</span> slow to pass, as <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Monday</span> will no doubt be. Good thing about me and Mondays, they go by pretty darn fast b/c there is ALWAYS so much to be done and not enough hours to do it in.....now Monday night will be the hard part.....getting some quality sleep. I have a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">tendency</span> not to sleep when i am very excited and being in <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">RU's</span> arms on Tuesday? well, let's just say that is more than just exciting. Also, on this trip we will get to spend more time together than we have in any visit, a whole week b/c of Labor day! <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">yippeeeeeee</span>! i always knew i liked labor day for some reason. so what ever will we do together for a whole week? i am sure all of you can come up with at least 2 good <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">extracurricular</span> activities we will be involved in.....<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error">LOL</span>! i think we will also try and write about my "coming out" and our first spanking while we are together. i am not sure if this will get done though as time and plans often have meaning when we are together......until that last day when i always seem to count the minutes that are left......but enough of that. i cannot start thinking of that yet.....it is REALLY depressing....<br /><br />so what will we do? Well, we are meeting somewhere in the middle to see a band that we really like. that will be lots of fun. I really love seeing <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">musicians</span> play when i am with RU. One of my favorite nights we were together was watching live music, drinking wine....... Then we will have to spend some time in the car the next day, but only a few hours one day and it will be totally worth it b/c we have until <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Monday</span> evening to just be together. that in itself is enough. Other than that you would have to ask RU as he is the planner. i just go with the flow and all i know, so far anyway, is that i will become very familiar with one of <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" class="blsp-spelling-error">RU's</span> ottomans, or so i have been told...... we will see how this works out....... oh, and i was told that <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">stubbornness</span> apparently leads to spankings. :) who knew? did i mention i am very stubborn? <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" class="blsp-spelling-error">LOL</span>!<br /><br />so, i will not post again until next week and maybe not then.....<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_14" class="blsp-spelling-error">idk</span>. if nothing else maybe i will post a poem at some time next week. RU loves my poetry so maybe i will let him pick one to share with all of you.......so many new things i am doing, sharing with people, that is just so unlike me..... i blame RU (you knew i would say that!)..... <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_15" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">truly</span>, he is good for me.LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-52332713946041875632009-08-26T18:03:00.005-05:002009-08-26T20:32:47.141-05:00The Visit – Revisited<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6bca_sk_cF4/SpXbZmBjFrI/AAAAAAAAAAU/Roqk8rT9N7I/s1600-h/IMG00117-20090627-1458.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 150px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374442963086808754" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6bca_sk_cF4/SpXbZmBjFrI/AAAAAAAAAAU/Roqk8rT9N7I/s200/IMG00117-20090627-1458.jpg" /></a><br /><div>So my shockingly beautiful lover LU has invited me to contribute to her spanking new (no pun intended) blog and I am happy to oblige her. We currently and hopefully very temporarily, are forced to be in a long distance relationship. And it is utterly amazing and a little ridiculous at times, how we have embraced technology to stay connected. Several email accounts, several phone numbers, several instant massager accounts, BB Pins, SMS messages, MMS images, etc…. all linked into Black Berry’s and PC’s. Taking phone sex to the ultimate in high tech. And OMG, did she just start a blog so that we can now share our intimacy with you fine folks. Well welcome to the party. LU is such an amazing woman that it would be wrong not to let you share in her words (the rest is mine, all mine!)<br /><br />I was very curious just how long it would take her to share with the world our new found interest in spanking and …. Meow! That cat came out of the bag real quick. I guess it shows just what an impact this new experience has made in our lives. With that, I must make a special shout out to Bonnie and her friends at “<strong>My Bottom Smarts</strong>”. Bonnie, I can’t tell you how important your site was in my research when LU first shared her interest with me. It helped me to better understand, appreciate and ultimately get very excited about trying it out. And Wow, did we ever try it! We have been very excited about it ever since and how it can take our relationship instantly into a level of intimacy and trust that shocked us both. So speaking of which…..my last visit…..<br /><br />First I have to share with you….there is simply no amount of money in this world that comes close to the feeling I get when LU looks at me. The spark in her eyes, the look of love on her face, the touch that is completely electric. To this day, when she walks in a room, I swear my heart skips a beat. Seriously, this is no cheesy love song lyrics,….it happens! This feeling has no equal. When you find it, it is the greatest treasure you will ever know. I have found it and will not let it go. Our initial reunions are always very intense after being apart for so long and building it up with our electronic flirting. It usually is only a matter of minutes before one of us pounces on the other one. This time I got pounced! She is an agile one…..that LU!<br /><br />So I know, you are saying about now…..get to the spanking part….share with me RU! Well ok, as LU said below, we had a couple of sessions. I would like to share a little about our second session. It was the most intense to date. I spend some time thinking about how I want LU to receive her quality spank time. This time it was blind folded on the edge of the bed with a couple of pillows helping to prop up and present my target nicely. We had the most intense experience and took this opportunity to explore each other <strong>VERY, VERY</strong> thoroughly, all while she was blind folded and enjoying an ever reddening bottom. We continued until neither one of us could take it any longer and proceeding into passionate love making, followed by some serious love making (choose your preferred word here). Apparently spanking is the ultimate in foreplay for us. We keep it fun. She will giggle, but note that too much giggling may result in a firm smack!<br /><br />As you can tell from LU’s words below, spanking draws her out in ways I can’t describe. It frees her, relives her stress, and as she shared below (and to me for the first time) it has helped her to understand that she does not have to be this independent island, and does not have to carry life’s burdens alone. (Oh and just so we are clear… you have a serious spanking coming next week! I like where your mind is heading and I don’t want any relapse!) I love the intimacy and trust this has brought into our relationship. And well…..seriously??? Is there anything more amazing then the sight of your lover presenting and sharing herself with you in the most intimate of ways? <strong>That’s Hot!<br /></strong><br />So my conclusion (apparently I can’t turn off my business mind when writing blogs)<br /><br /></div><br /><ol><br /><li>My love for LU is beyond my ability to express in words. There simply are not enough words that I can string together to express it. I am thinking of creating new ones (feel free to comment if you have suggestions)</li><br /><li>If your partner has ever expressed the slightest interest in a good spanking, start slow but give it a try. It may not be for you, but you may find, as we have, it can enhance your relationship in ways you could never imagine. </li></ol><br /><p></p>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-82908656575497948482009-08-25T19:54:00.001-05:002009-08-25T20:27:29.016-05:00New Found IntimacyCall me out<br />Call me down<br />Tell me why<br />Give me direction<br />So i will feel your presence<br />And take the position<br />Mold me, Control me<br />Love and excite me<br />Building ever the anticipation<br />Building ever the fear<br />Now in position<br />Caress me<br />Tease me<br />Slowly expose me<br />Exploit my uneasiness<br />As my vulnerability shows<br />Want you to enjoy this<br />Want me to enjoy this<br />Our new found intimacy<br />I will rise to meet your challenge<br />As it comes<br />I swallow hard<br />Your first firm stroke<br />Planted squarely in place<br />A gasp<br />A pant<br />Your second<br />A gasp<br />A moan<br />And you fall into a rhythm<br />And i soak it in<br />I take it all<br />I love it<br />As you continue<br />I squirm under your stroke<br />I gasp and pant and moan<br />You move me<br />Reposition me<br />Reaffirm your direction<br />And your control<br />Again you place your stroke<br />Again i gasp and pant<br />Again i squirm<br />As you continue<br />Continue on until it is done<br />I have learned my lesson<br />And have the color to prove it<br />You admire your work<br />Such a nice shade of red<br />You lovingly caress me<br />And hold me<br />And whisper to me<br />I drink you in<br />I take you in<br />All of you<br />Until we<br />As one<br />Howl with pleasure<br />In the arms of each otherLUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-91788798276547211002009-08-25T19:47:00.002-05:002009-08-25T20:31:19.794-05:00An additionSo, i have given Ru access to post on my blog. We will see what he can come up with! Good luck <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">hun</span>.<br /><br />I also wanted to say thanks to Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts for linking me.....i was very <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">shocked</span> when Ru told me with an <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">OMG</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">IM</span>. Much like Ru, my spanking life, and letting anyone read my poetry; blogging is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">completely</span> new to me, so forgive me if i go about it in a backwards manner.....i have a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">tendency</span> to sort of go my own way; it might take me a while to figure out what that is, but eventually i get there. So, since i have nothing very interesting to say right now i figured i would give you all a new poem. i give it it's own post though. not sure if i need to do that or not, but i am going to.<br /><br />Also, since i cannot get the spanking i want, or <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">desperately</span> wanted the other day, go get one for me please!LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-21996857264772337042009-08-20T18:49:00.000-05:002009-08-20T19:31:31.043-05:00visitorwell, Ru left today. i dropped him at the airport this afternoon. it is always a sad time when we must part. i feel.......incomplete somehow. Even though i do like my space, especially coming out of a very <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">unaffectionate</span> marriage, i am used to sort of being on my own. but when the 2 of us are together, i somehow do not seem to feel crowded or like i need space. Of course i have never had a distance relationship before and i know that our intensity builds from our time apart. We had a great time, as always. We had a day out, where we did ordinary things that most couples do all the time. those things are rare for us and to be able to enjoy each others company in a "normal" space is unique and exciting, as boring as the rest of you think shopping with your significant other may be! We had a wonderfully romantic dinner out one night. the other 2 nights we stayed in.....bet you cannot guess what we were doing.....<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">LOL</span>!<br /><br />so, on that topic...... i am a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">spanko</span>.....yes, i enjoy being bent over his lap and having his nice big firm hand redden my rear. i have always had these desires, but in all my living and relationships have never shared this desire with anyone but Ru. We are so close.....i trust him completely. if we had never hooked up i doubt i would have shared this with anyone ever. but he pulls the truth out of me.....he understands i am not ordinary and draws me out and loves all my <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">twistedness</span>. he never makes me feel ashamed or embarrassed about anything.....ever. i love him deeply. <br /><br />so anyway, i was saying........ i got 2 lovely spankings while he was here.....one after that nice romantic dinner.....it was hard to take, because i wanted him to take me so very badly......luckily, he was in a like mindset and the spanking was short lived as i drug him to the bedroom leaving a trail of clothing behind us.......... it was......amazing. Not that i have been with lots of guys in my time or anything, but i have been with enough to know, the kind of sex we have is just not normal. it is absolutely wonderful.<br /><br />the second one.....oh my.....OH MY! Now, you must understand that the 2 of us are new to this. i have had the desire forever, but he did not until until i brought it to his attention and cofessed my secret desires to him. So, we are newbies, well.... rookies at this point i guess. but this one.....it was a thought out plan....or at least some of it was...<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">haha</span>. i was told to go to the bedroom and wait....we were already in our pj's snuggling on the couch. i went and waited...... i saw he had positioned some pillows on the bed for this event.....so i knew what was coming. but when he came in the bedroom and whispered in my ear for me to get in to position, which i did, and he pulled out a blind fold....i was ..... a little surprised, but pleasantly so. i did laugh quite a bit. so on the blind fold went, and down my <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">pj</span> bottoms went in the next breath. well, it was a longer session then we have had in the past, i think. it is hard to judge time passing when you are blind folded and someone is smacking your ass. but it was thrilling! it was. Also very different for me as when we were done i truly felt submissive; for the first time ever. i know that is supposed to be a part of the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">spanko</span> life and all, but i am not a very submissive personality in most ways. i am a strong woman. but the feeling i had, was unique. i did like it, but was unsure how i felt <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">abt</span> feeling that way. all new feelings require processing for me. but to feel like you are completely some one <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error">else's</span>..........totally, utterly. for those few moments while it lasted, was ........ <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-error">idk</span>, lightening.....lifting. to knew that someone else was responsible for me and that i did not have to carry the burden of everything alone....it was as enlightening as it was terrifying for me as i am unused to this type of emotion/sensation. it will be much easier next time i experience this feeling (which i hope will not be too far in the future) as i will not be so shocked by it. perhaps i will write something dedicated just to that. like i said, i know that is some portion of what the spanking life is supposed to be about and now i know why. i always knew that giving up control was a huge part of it as you must give that up to your partner and put your well being in their hands. but this was some thing more.......it was like i knew for a few moments that i would never carry the weight of the world all by myself anymore. that is not a feeling i have had.<br /><br />Ru, i know i told you a bit about this and how i felt; but i wanted to say thank you. thank you for sharing this with me. i miss you already.LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-50289323269460480012009-08-16T22:06:00.001-05:002009-08-16T22:11:04.528-05:00this weekso, Ru and i have a long distance relationship. we only see each other every couple of weeks. well, HAPPY DAY he comes in tomorrow. he will be waiting for me when i get home from work. i am soooooooooo excited. it will be a wonderful week full of..........not sure i am ready to discuss that part of my life with any one else, but be asured it will be wonderful. i will post details later!!LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442906574457011931.post-83607450314598906372009-08-16T21:09:00.001-05:002009-08-24T22:23:55.946-05:00FIRST DAYso, i just started my <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">blog</span> today. i thought it only fitting to start it with the poem it was named after. yes, i am writer and you will see my poems posted from time to time. so i guess i should catch any one tuning in up on me.<br /><br /><br />well, i am in my 30's and now more comfortable with myself than i have ever been. i have a new found confidence and self awareness that i have never had before. this has developed over the last few years as my marriage has fallen in to utter ruin and has been terminated. this is a good thing for me, i have not been the self aware in many many years. it is amazing what you can discover about yourself when you are the only person you have to rely on. i am happy with the woman i have become. i am far from perfect, but i am happy, eclectic, strong, confident. i have found a balance and a new found appreciation with my eclectic side.......which i have begun to explore again. it has been long dormant as my x, i believe, was a bit intimidated by my free <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">spiritedness</span>. anyway, i have loved this journey so far and hope there are many discoveries yet to be made here.<br /><br />i now have a loving partner, one who excites and indulges my free spirit. he draws me out of myself like a syringe drawing blood. i love him to the depths of my soul. i often hold the depth of my feelings back from him......i am sure he knows this to some degree, but i am ALWAYS honest with him. i have told him things that i have never uttered to another soul and he has done the same with me. the depth of communication and the since of belonging that we share with one another is unlike anything i have ever experienced; unlike anything i ever imagined. he is simply beautiful to me in all ways. much of what i write <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">abt</span> will probably involve this wonderful person. we have a future to build, maybe......hopefully. we have trials yet to be overcome. but i think we will, one way or another.<br /><br />life is messy. but what that was ever worth it did not require clean up afterwards????????LUhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05757366446316558531noreply@blogger.com0