visitor

well, Ru left today. i dropped him at the airport this afternoon. it is always a sad time when we must part. i feel.......incomplete somehow. Even though i do like my space, especially coming out of a very unaffectionate marriage, i am used to sort of being on my own. but when the 2 of us are together, i somehow do not seem to feel crowded or like i need space. Of course i have never had a distance relationship before and i know that our intensity builds from our time apart. We had a great time, as always. We had a day out, where we did ordinary things that most couples do all the time. those things are rare for us and to be able to enjoy each others company in a "normal" space is unique and exciting, as boring as the rest of you think shopping with your significant other may be! We had a wonderfully romantic dinner out one night. the other 2 nights we stayed in.....bet you cannot guess what we were doing.....LOL!

so, on that topic...... i am a spanko.....yes, i enjoy being bent over his lap and having his nice big firm hand redden my rear. i have always had these desires, but in all my living and relationships have never shared this desire with anyone but Ru. We are so close.....i trust him completely. if we had never hooked up i doubt i would have shared this with anyone ever. but he pulls the truth out of me.....he understands i am not ordinary and draws me out and loves all my twistedness. he never makes me feel ashamed or embarrassed about anything.....ever. i love him deeply.

so anyway, i was saying........ i got 2 lovely spankings while he was here.....one after that nice romantic dinner.....it was hard to take, because i wanted him to take me so very badly......luckily, he was in a like mindset and the spanking was short lived as i drug him to the bedroom leaving a trail of clothing behind us.......... it was......amazing. Not that i have been with lots of guys in my time or anything, but i have been with enough to know, the kind of sex we have is just not normal. it is absolutely wonderful.

the second one.....oh my.....OH MY! Now, you must understand that the 2 of us are new to this. i have had the desire forever, but he did not until until i brought it to his attention and cofessed my secret desires to him. So, we are newbies, well.... rookies at this point i guess. but this one.....it was a thought out plan....or at least some of it was...haha. i was told to go to the bedroom and wait....we were already in our pj's snuggling on the couch. i went and waited...... i saw he had positioned some pillows on the bed for this event.....so i knew what was coming. but when he came in the bedroom and whispered in my ear for me to get in to position, which i did, and he pulled out a blind fold....i was ..... a little surprised, but pleasantly so. i did laugh quite a bit. so on the blind fold went, and down my pj bottoms went in the next breath. well, it was a longer session then we have had in the past, i think. it is hard to judge time passing when you are blind folded and someone is smacking your ass. but it was thrilling! it was. Also very different for me as when we were done i truly felt submissive; for the first time ever. i know that is supposed to be a part of the spanko life and all, but i am not a very submissive personality in most ways. i am a strong woman. but the feeling i had, was unique. i did like it, but was unsure how i felt abt feeling that way. all new feelings require processing for me. but to feel like you are completely some one else's..........totally, utterly. for those few moments while it lasted, was ........ idk, lightening.....lifting. to knew that someone else was responsible for me and that i did not have to carry the burden of everything alone....it was as enlightening as it was terrifying for me as i am unused to this type of emotion/sensation. it will be much easier next time i experience this feeling (which i hope will not be too far in the future) as i will not be so shocked by it. perhaps i will write something dedicated just to that. like i said, i know that is some portion of what the spanking life is supposed to be about and now i know why. i always knew that giving up control was a huge part of it as you must give that up to your partner and put your well being in their hands. but this was some thing more.......it was like i knew for a few moments that i would never carry the weight of the world all by myself anymore. that is not a feeling i have had.

Ru, i know i told you a bit about this and how i felt; but i wanted to say thank you. thank you for sharing this with me. i miss you already.