Need

it is hard being separated, esp after so much time together. i cannot seem to get back to myself since he left. the chaos of work, and other personal issues in my life do not help. everything seems so much worse than it really is, maybe b/c i feel, in a way, i am facing it alone. i know i am not, that Ru is always there to support me and listen and advise, but it is still hard when i cannot feel his gentle touch, his sweet embrace.....sit in his lap the way i always do. ..... there is just something abt the physical that helps reinforce the idea and feelings of support. it makes me feel weak to think this way, but Ru has awakened a part of me that never existed before. the part that feels the need of others and i can admit that, for the first time ever.....that i need others (esp RU). i have never been a loner per say, but i have always been very comfortable being alone. the closer i get to Ru, the less i enjoy my own company.....don't get me wrong, i can crack my self up, but i would rather us be together and share the jokes, the shows, the tears......what ever it is......to share. It seems these days no matter what i do i feel like something is missing, some one to share with. is it a weakness to feel the need of someone else? this is a new thing for me in my adult life and i think i am having a bit of trouble processing it.......