Your Nearness

I thought I would share with you one of LU's many poems. So much of her work is very personal to me or to her, so it is hard to choose some times. But I like this one and I hope you do as well.

Your nearness invades me

And I succumb to it

It seeps deep into me

And calms the depths within me

Your presence over powers me

I am no match for you

As you undo the harshness of the day

I have no choice but to obey

Your touch expertly defeats me

And I willingly surrender to it

It melts the resistance within

So I can see the beauty in the world again

You.....end the war inside me

Stop the static in my head

And take me to a tranquil place

Every time I feel your sweet embrace

excited!

so, it has been a ruff week in the business world and i, for one, am glad it is over. Also, it is one day closer to me getting to see my RU. i am sooooo excited! i cannot wipe this silly smile off my face for anything! i think i have enough planned to keep me busy for the weekend, washing, cleaning, packing for tomorrow and then working out and visiting some friends on Sunday. Still, i am sure everyday will be agonizingly slow to pass, as Monday will no doubt be. Good thing about me and Mondays, they go by pretty darn fast b/c there is ALWAYS so much to be done and not enough hours to do it in.....now Monday night will be the hard part.....getting some quality sleep. I have a tendency not to sleep when i am very excited and being in RU's arms on Tuesday? well, let's just say that is more than just exciting. Also, on this trip we will get to spend more time together than we have in any visit, a whole week b/c of Labor day! yippeeeeeee! i always knew i liked labor day for some reason. so what ever will we do together for a whole week? i am sure all of you can come up with at least 2 good extracurricular activities we will be involved in.....LOL! i think we will also try and write about my "coming out" and our first spanking while we are together. i am not sure if this will get done though as time and plans often have meaning when we are together......until that last day when i always seem to count the minutes that are left......but enough of that. i cannot start thinking of that yet.....it is REALLY depressing....

so what will we do? Well, we are meeting somewhere in the middle to see a band that we really like. that will be lots of fun. I really love seeing musicians play when i am with RU. One of my favorite nights we were together was watching live music, drinking wine....... Then we will have to spend some time in the car the next day, but only a few hours one day and it will be totally worth it b/c we have until Monday evening to just be together. that in itself is enough. Other than that you would have to ask RU as he is the planner. i just go with the flow and all i know, so far anyway, is that i will become very familiar with one of RU's ottomans, or so i have been told...... we will see how this works out....... oh, and i was told that stubbornness apparently leads to spankings. :) who knew? did i mention i am very stubborn? LOL!

so, i will not post again until next week and maybe not then.....idk. if nothing else maybe i will post a poem at some time next week. RU loves my poetry so maybe i will let him pick one to share with all of you.......so many new things i am doing, sharing with people, that is just so unlike me..... i blame RU (you knew i would say that!)..... truly, he is good for me.

The Visit – Revisited

So my shockingly beautiful lover LU has invited me to contribute to her spanking new (no pun intended) blog and I am happy to oblige her. We currently and hopefully very temporarily, are forced to be in a long distance relationship. And it is utterly amazing and a little ridiculous at times, how we have embraced technology to stay connected. Several email accounts, several phone numbers, several instant massager accounts, BB Pins, SMS messages, MMS images, etc…. all linked into Black Berry’s and PC’s. Taking phone sex to the ultimate in high tech. And OMG, did she just start a blog so that we can now share our intimacy with you fine folks. Well welcome to the party. LU is such an amazing woman that it would be wrong not to let you share in her words (the rest is mine, all mine!)

I was very curious just how long it would take her to share with the world our new found interest in spanking and …. Meow! That cat came out of the bag real quick. I guess it shows just what an impact this new experience has made in our lives. With that, I must make a special shout out to Bonnie and her friends at “My Bottom Smarts”. Bonnie, I can’t tell you how important your site was in my research when LU first shared her interest with me. It helped me to better understand, appreciate and ultimately get very excited about trying it out. And Wow, did we ever try it! We have been very excited about it ever since and how it can take our relationship instantly into a level of intimacy and trust that shocked us both. So speaking of which…..my last visit…..

First I have to share with you….there is simply no amount of money in this world that comes close to the feeling I get when LU looks at me. The spark in her eyes, the look of love on her face, the touch that is completely electric. To this day, when she walks in a room, I swear my heart skips a beat. Seriously, this is no cheesy love song lyrics,….it happens! This feeling has no equal. When you find it, it is the greatest treasure you will ever know. I have found it and will not let it go. Our initial reunions are always very intense after being apart for so long and building it up with our electronic flirting. It usually is only a matter of minutes before one of us pounces on the other one. This time I got pounced! She is an agile one…..that LU!

So I know, you are saying about now…..get to the spanking part….share with me RU! Well ok, as LU said below, we had a couple of sessions. I would like to share a little about our second session. It was the most intense to date. I spend some time thinking about how I want LU to receive her quality spank time. This time it was blind folded on the edge of the bed with a couple of pillows helping to prop up and present my target nicely. We had the most intense experience and took this opportunity to explore each other VERY, VERY thoroughly, all while she was blind folded and enjoying an ever reddening bottom. We continued until neither one of us could take it any longer and proceeding into passionate love making, followed by some serious love making (choose your preferred word here). Apparently spanking is the ultimate in foreplay for us. We keep it fun. She will giggle, but note that too much giggling may result in a firm smack!

As you can tell from LU’s words below, spanking draws her out in ways I can’t describe. It frees her, relives her stress, and as she shared below (and to me for the first time) it has helped her to understand that she does not have to be this independent island, and does not have to carry life’s burdens alone. (Oh and just so we are clear… you have a serious spanking coming next week! I like where your mind is heading and I don’t want any relapse!) I love the intimacy and trust this has brought into our relationship. And well…..seriously??? Is there anything more amazing then the sight of your lover presenting and sharing herself with you in the most intimate of ways? That’s Hot!

So my conclusion (apparently I can’t turn off my business mind when writing blogs)

1. My love for LU is beyond my ability to express in words. There simply are not enough words that I can string together to express it. I am thinking of creating new ones (feel free to comment if you have suggestions)


2. If your partner has ever expressed the slightest interest in a good spanking, start slow but give it a try. It may not be for you, but you may find, as we have, it can enhance your relationship in ways you could never imagine.

New Found Intimacy

Call me out
Call me down
Tell me why
Give me direction
So i will feel your presence
And take the position
Mold me, Control me
Love and excite me
Building ever the anticipation
Building ever the fear
Now in position
Caress me
Tease me
Slowly expose me
Exploit my uneasiness
As my vulnerability shows
Want you to enjoy this
Want me to enjoy this
Our new found intimacy
I will rise to meet your challenge
As it comes
I swallow hard
Your first firm stroke
Planted squarely in place
A gasp
A pant
Your second
A gasp
A moan
And you fall into a rhythm
And i soak it in
I take it all
I love it
As you continue
I squirm under your stroke
I gasp and pant and moan
You move me
Reposition me
Reaffirm your direction
And your control
Again you place your stroke
Again i gasp and pant
Again i squirm
As you continue
Continue on until it is done
I have learned my lesson
And have the color to prove it
You admire your work
Such a nice shade of red
You lovingly caress me
And hold me
And whisper to me
I drink you in
I take you in
All of you
Until we
As one
Howl with pleasure
In the arms of each other

An addition

So, i have given Ru access to post on my blog. We will see what he can come up with! Good luck hun.

I also wanted to say thanks to Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts for linking me.....i was very shocked when Ru told me with an OMG IM. Much like Ru, my spanking life, and letting anyone read my poetry; blogging is completely new to me, so forgive me if i go about it in a backwards manner.....i have a tendency to sort of go my own way; it might take me a while to figure out what that is, but eventually i get there. So, since i have nothing very interesting to say right now i figured i would give you all a new poem. i give it it's own post though. not sure if i need to do that or not, but i am going to.

Also, since i cannot get the spanking i want, or desperately wanted the other day, go get one for me please!

visitor

well, Ru left today. i dropped him at the airport this afternoon. it is always a sad time when we must part. i feel.......incomplete somehow. Even though i do like my space, especially coming out of a very unaffectionate marriage, i am used to sort of being on my own. but when the 2 of us are together, i somehow do not seem to feel crowded or like i need space. Of course i have never had a distance relationship before and i know that our intensity builds from our time apart. We had a great time, as always. We had a day out, where we did ordinary things that most couples do all the time. those things are rare for us and to be able to enjoy each others company in a "normal" space is unique and exciting, as boring as the rest of you think shopping with your significant other may be! We had a wonderfully romantic dinner out one night. the other 2 nights we stayed in.....bet you cannot guess what we were doing.....LOL!

so, on that topic...... i am a spanko.....yes, i enjoy being bent over his lap and having his nice big firm hand redden my rear. i have always had these desires, but in all my living and relationships have never shared this desire with anyone but Ru. We are so close.....i trust him completely. if we had never hooked up i doubt i would have shared this with anyone ever. but he pulls the truth out of me.....he understands i am not ordinary and draws me out and loves all my twistedness. he never makes me feel ashamed or embarrassed about anything.....ever. i love him deeply.

so anyway, i was saying........ i got 2 lovely spankings while he was here.....one after that nice romantic dinner.....it was hard to take, because i wanted him to take me so very badly......luckily, he was in a like mindset and the spanking was short lived as i drug him to the bedroom leaving a trail of clothing behind us.......... it was......amazing. Not that i have been with lots of guys in my time or anything, but i have been with enough to know, the kind of sex we have is just not normal. it is absolutely wonderful.

the second one.....oh my.....OH MY! Now, you must understand that the 2 of us are new to this. i have had the desire forever, but he did not until until i brought it to his attention and cofessed my secret desires to him. So, we are newbies, well.... rookies at this point i guess. but this one.....it was a thought out plan....or at least some of it was...haha. i was told to go to the bedroom and wait....we were already in our pj's snuggling on the couch. i went and waited...... i saw he had positioned some pillows on the bed for this event.....so i knew what was coming. but when he came in the bedroom and whispered in my ear for me to get in to position, which i did, and he pulled out a blind fold....i was ..... a little surprised, but pleasantly so. i did laugh quite a bit. so on the blind fold went, and down my pj bottoms went in the next breath. well, it was a longer session then we have had in the past, i think. it is hard to judge time passing when you are blind folded and someone is smacking your ass. but it was thrilling! it was. Also very different for me as when we were done i truly felt submissive; for the first time ever. i know that is supposed to be a part of the spanko life and all, but i am not a very submissive personality in most ways. i am a strong woman. but the feeling i had, was unique. i did like it, but was unsure how i felt abt feeling that way. all new feelings require processing for me. but to feel like you are completely some one else's..........totally, utterly. for those few moments while it lasted, was ........ idk, lightening.....lifting. to knew that someone else was responsible for me and that i did not have to carry the burden of everything alone....it was as enlightening as it was terrifying for me as i am unused to this type of emotion/sensation. it will be much easier next time i experience this feeling (which i hope will not be too far in the future) as i will not be so shocked by it. perhaps i will write something dedicated just to that. like i said, i know that is some portion of what the spanking life is supposed to be about and now i know why. i always knew that giving up control was a huge part of it as you must give that up to your partner and put your well being in their hands. but this was some thing more.......it was like i knew for a few moments that i would never carry the weight of the world all by myself anymore. that is not a feeling i have had.

Ru, i know i told you a bit about this and how i felt; but i wanted to say thank you. thank you for sharing this with me. i miss you already.

this week

so, Ru and i have a long distance relationship. we only see each other every couple of weeks. well, HAPPY DAY he comes in tomorrow. he will be waiting for me when i get home from work. i am soooooooooo excited. it will be a wonderful week full of..........not sure i am ready to discuss that part of my life with any one else, but be asured it will be wonderful. i will post details later!!

FIRST DAY

so, i just started my blog today. i thought it only fitting to start it with the poem it was named after. yes, i am writer and you will see my poems posted from time to time. so i guess i should catch any one tuning in up on me.


well, i am in my 30's and now more comfortable with myself than i have ever been. i have a new found confidence and self awareness that i have never had before. this has developed over the last few years as my marriage has fallen in to utter ruin and has been terminated. this is a good thing for me, i have not been the self aware in many many years. it is amazing what you can discover about yourself when you are the only person you have to rely on. i am happy with the woman i have become. i am far from perfect, but i am happy, eclectic, strong, confident. i have found a balance and a new found appreciation with my eclectic side.......which i have begun to explore again. it has been long dormant as my x, i believe, was a bit intimidated by my free spiritedness. anyway, i have loved this journey so far and hope there are many discoveries yet to be made here.

i now have a loving partner, one who excites and indulges my free spirit. he draws me out of myself like a syringe drawing blood. i love him to the depths of my soul. i often hold the depth of my feelings back from him......i am sure he knows this to some degree, but i am ALWAYS honest with him. i have told him things that i have never uttered to another soul and he has done the same with me. the depth of communication and the since of belonging that we share with one another is unlike anything i have ever experienced; unlike anything i ever imagined. he is simply beautiful to me in all ways. much of what i write abt will probably involve this wonderful person. we have a future to build, maybe......hopefully. we have trials yet to be overcome. but i think we will, one way or another.

life is messy. but what that was ever worth it did not require clean up afterwards????????

through the looking glass

Through the door I walk and stare
As I see myself standing there
Looking back from across the room
Behind my image shadows loom
For through the mirror it’s deepest night
But outside here the sun shines bright
Closer and close to the object I come
To see the twisted things my life’s become
They stare at me from beyond the reflection
And I feel and intense sting of affection
So I place my hands upon the glass
To see if I can cross the pass
To the place of night that is my day
So I can live with all my twisted ways
Try as I might I cannot descend
The glass is hard and will not bend
So here I sit and wonder why
We hide the things that get us by
The life we love is secret from all
For it’s dark and it’s dirty and holds us in thrall
And now I wonder as I sit and stare
What do I look like from over there
What do they see from beyond the pass
From the other side of the looking glass